Rare Joy

Posted on March 10, 2006 by clay

i’ve not known any joy as much as today lately

can’t really remember when was the last time i’ve taste of pure joy…

yes, indeed, i’m deeply joyful (though feel very tired physically)

this morning just have our first fellowship in office

only 4 of us….

and it took some sacrifices for each us…

yet i’m glad we made it…

and what can we say if this is not God’s with us

unless He builds the house, we’ll only labor in vain

and indeed He’s build this for us…

and we can only praise Him

for what He has done…

O Lord, glorify your Name in us

next Monday is the first of real fellowship

prepare us Lord

for pure fellowship

for a taste of Heaven

in You goodness ever more

come Lord Jesus =)

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More than they that watch for the morning

Posted on March 6, 2006 by clay

The following Indonesia song is one of my favorite song:

Lebih dari segalanya, kuberharap padaMu

Lebih dari pada penjaga mengharap fajar pagi

Begitu rindu hatiku, berada dekatMu

Alangkah dalam kasihMu, memenuhi hidupku

Translated as :

More than anything, i’m waiting for You

More than watchmen waiting for morning

My heart so long just to be near You

How great is Your love, filling in my life

Exactly expressing the cry of my heart…..

More than anything, more than anything

My soul long for God

More than watchmen waiting for the morning

My soul is waiting for God

Where are you Lord for my soul long for you

Like a deer pants for stream of water

So my soul long after Thee

 

And so, how great is my joy, when it’s fully satisfied

When the thirsty soul is fully quenched from His river

Yes, He satisfies….He satisfies my desire

Great is His love

Whom I have in Heaven but You

There is nothing on Earth i desire besides You

My heart and my flesh many times they fail

But You are the strength of my heart

Surely God is the strength of my heart 

Love You Lord

 

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Life is unfair (3)

Posted on February 27, 2006 by clay

Perhaps this’s my last entry on this subject

I don’t know how to explain or put it in a clear and sober way… However the accounts of 3 people I read lately have opened my eyes.

One is a man who’s struck by cancer and was dying of the disease, severely disfigured. Yet together with his wife, they pull through all the odds and testifies that love never fails. At the highest point of their suffering, they saw the love of God expresed through Jesus that surpass their sufferings. Life may be unfair to them, but they showed me that there’re more to live than a pleasant live we all dream of. Because He who loves us so much that we could say His love is better than life itself.

Second is from a young woman who’s struck by another disease. It’s as if life is unfair. That a young woman should be denied a normal and good life by such disease. Where’s God under such situation? Yet she experienced what the couple on top experienced. That in the midst of suffering, God is ever real. His presence is closer than before and His love sweeter than ever. Even disease doesn’t hold the love of God in Jesus Christ.

And the third is another young woman who’s severely persecuted. Her faith shone extremely bright that touched and changed her persecutors. Where’s God when such bad and cruel thing should happened? God is God that through His children He shows the world even the worst of life (be it persecution, disease, and death) can’t triumph over His love.

Can i say that llife is unfair then? Those people would surely stand to oppose me. Because the “ugliness” of life that they’ve experienced, they grow to know the intense of God’s love even more. Would they say that life has been unfair? Yes for the better side! And perhaps from life’s own perspective, we’re the foolish creatures, because we see life only one sided. For life is both the good times and the bad times. It’s really foolish to think that life only good times and therefore bad times shouldn’t be at all there. Life is fair because it has both the good times and bad times.  And the bad times that actually make people.

tired of thinking…..now is doing my part to make the best use of each times in life…good and bad.

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Awake my soul then sing

Posted on February 23, 2006 by clay

Many times in life we see coincidences. As a Christian i believe that God is the one who plans everything, hence in that knowledge, there’s really no coincidences, rather according to the Plan.

Still interesting though to see on human level. Before the end of 2nd month of 2006, the path the Lord is leading me or bringing me into…

Somewhere along the line, the meeting with 2 different ladies this 2 mth has brought me to face reality. Parts of life that i’ve ignored or afraid to look at. One wrote in first page these words “let me believe”, and the other who urging “u can”. Or actually another one who told me “i support you”……Can’t remember if there’re more.

All in all, i want to believe parts of the prayer i prayed for this year: “Lord show my my life’s end”. So it began with the waking up of my soul. One that has slept for long, things that i chose to put to sleep, or things i overlooked.

At least now, hahaha…there’s still one thing lingering. Something i’m very afraid of. Have been thinking too much abt it (since already beginning of January and thought will execute in Feb). How to overcome fear? “By facing it” one said. O Lord, awake my soul, and let me sing.

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A mistake i made

Posted on February 20, 2006 by clay

Just read Piper’s letter to his church, explaining clearly and encouragingly on his coming sabbatical leave. It made me realize the mistake i made earlier this year. Without proper announcement & plan that i left some people behind. It’s definitely not a good thing. And there’s plain laziness on my part to write that email…explaining in clear & encouraging way.

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Will i succeed?

Posted on February 19, 2006 by clay

A question i asked myself regarding this goal:

To bring “indonesia mentality” to singapore’s lifestyle

What do i mean?

Find the hectic life in sg has actually since 50 years ago. And it seems to be the culture here. That life is hectic, otherwise something is wrong. But i think life must not be hectic, even if it’s in singapore. It’s true that time is short and there’re so many things to be done. But here i think some principles which i have and therefore disagree with the culture of hectic life here:

1. It’s not by might or power, but by the Spirit of God (says the Lord). Hence it’s not up to us, our hardwork to bring failure or success. God’s works is not done by human strength, rather prayers.

2. Flow from point 1, that it’s the life of prayer that need to be promoted. It seems to me that we work too much and pray too less. It can be seen from the anxious and worrying people around.

3. Unless the Lord builds the house, the laborers labor in vain. Unless the Lord guard the city, the guards labor in vain. So it’s again the same point that it’s not by doing more work, but by more praying and letting God to be God.

In summary, life need not be hectic. It need to be more God-centered, God-dependant, and God-sovereignty. We don’t have enough time, but surely God has. He has from eternity to eternity.

Enough of writing, time to pray.

Will i succeed? Only if i pray.

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A Moment of gladness

Posted on February 17, 2006 by clay

If you are happy then clap your hand

If you are happy then praise God

If you are happy then share the smile

Thank you Lord for this morning happiness

There’re times to rejoice and times to mourn

Times to dance and times to weep

When it’s time of gladness, let me rejoice

Thank You Lord for happiness that you bring

A short talk yet good news from boss…oh yet i’m waiting for better news

And also a short meeting with ci mel & grace this morning….hahahaha

A time to meet and a time to depart…

Season by season you make my life rich….

Even when my hair turn gray…u’re still carrying me

I’m totally satisfied

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Another type of loneliness

Posted on February 16, 2006 by clay

i guess the feeling comes when u feel alone.

which rightly what happened right now

it doesn’t happen by choice i believe.

just feel lonely to walk this path alone

but perhaps it’s still the early stage where i’m not in crisis mode…therefore it’s just light loneliness….hahaha

nevertheless yah, i dont like it….and don’t think anyone like to be alone

especially with the knowledge that it’s not meant to be alone….for this task

hmmm….got other thoughts…^_*

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Life is unfair (2)

Posted on February 14, 2006 by clay

I woke up in the middle of nite, and cried. Why there’s suffering? Why good people suffer? Why does God allow good people to suffer?

It’s not theological question, but it’s emotional response

Why there’s a need for such intense suffering? And if it’s necessary, what’s the point for good people to suffer that much?

One thing came to my mind, that God says because of sin, that’s why there’s disease. So the suffering reminds us of our mortality and the ugliness of sin. So the beauty of Heaven.

Second thing is the assurance of God’s love. That He knows and bears all our pains and sufferings. That assurance i praise Thee. Lord, i pray that no more such intense suffering for her…either u heal her, or u take her home.

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He has not failed to keep me surprised

Posted on February 13, 2006 by clay

What a surprising week for me!

A friend’s friend knows another a friend’s friend that both are related to me somehow. Got a new friend…and strangely talk like old friends It’s strange…but i like this surprise. He has not failed to surprise me

Then the second thing, it’s quite surprised me to meet my high school friend few months ago…and this afternoon, i met her again…and this time…she knew one of my good friens for both join same group overseas….such a small world

The last thing, tonite received further email from my primary school friend, he’s coming to sg…and surprise…he seems to know one my good friend…how’re they link?? I’m yet waiting for further revelation. If indeed true…how small is this world.

What i rejoice more if everyone belong to the family of God. That’s wonderful. Wonderful surprise.

Received news from home too….mum was glad that her friends like the gift she bought. Delighting over her shopping experience in Sg..=) Hmmm….many other things too that will be too long to be written down here. But overall, i thank You Lord.

Expect great things from God, attempt great things for God – William Carey

“O LORD, make me know my end
and what is the measure of my days;
-Ps 39 : 4-  Another prayer…..for another story….another time

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