I have much to give thanks and rejoice. Yesterday I did a survey, and I could say that I’m thriving in this season. This morning I read an article that it’s OK to feel OK when everybody else say it is not OK.
So when I hear a webinar this morning about the struggle that people face emotionally. And also one good friend describe the struggle he has with this COVID19, my heart goes to them. And I thought let me remind myself on this old small voice that always true.
Continue readingIt has been a tiring journey lately. Only a few people whom I’ve shared briefly, in the need to find strength. Yesterday after we came back from the GP, decided to proceed with another CT Scan before going home, and told our friend to inform our girls via Zoom that we would late home, my hearts were broken inside & I just simply tired for doing anything.
My eldest girl asked me if tomorrow we would leave them again (we’ve left them behind for 3 days in a row!) Honestly I don’t know. I wish I don’t have to. I tried to read more about CT scan & lymphatic system, and I feel so overwhelmed by the complexity of what could go wrong and yet so hard to know exactly what happened, even more mysterious of what cause it.
I felt bad to come to friends asking for help one way or another. I would like to come with good news, with something to celebrate, and to rejoice about. I felt so weak and perhaps so uncharacteristic of a spiritual person.
So last night before sleeping, I repeated the same prayer that if it’s caused by the Enemy, may the Lord deliver us. And if there’s something good out of this which He wants me to learn, may He helped us. Lastly, I ask for His strengthening.
Continue readingNext week I would help with facilitating group of teens. Part of the preparation, I received discussions around teens. And it can be quite depressing to hear the challenges. Furthermore, there’re many other things regarding health of family members which pull me down.
Continue readingOne day my wife asked me a question, whether God who knows everything (could see even our future disobedience and failures) is happy when we act in present obedience to Him?
It is a difficult question. I only have some clues that ‘Yes’, God is happy / delight in us, when we show faith. As Hebrews 11:6 tells,”Without faith it’s impossible to please God.” In a way it records how these people please God with their faith.
And today I read this:
Continue reading"... from Jesus Christ the faithful witness, the firstborn of the dead, and the ruler of kings on earth. To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood and made us a kingdom, priests to his God and Father, to him be glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen."
~ Revelation 1:5-6 (ESV)
I don’t know why, everytime I read this book of Revelation, it always brings smile to my face. So much assurance, so much peace, so much joy.
Could it be because I love John’s writings? Or could it be that I like a happy ending story? Or could it be that I like something forward looking? I don’t know 🙂 But what I know, I would like to share here.
Here what I learnt this morning:
Continue readingIt’s a mixed of emotions within. Of sadness, of uncertainty, of thanksgivings, and of peace. Even if I cannot make a meaning of all these thoughts and emotions, I think for my sanity, this writing would be a good channel. Who knows God could use it to speak to someone out there.
Continue readingWe are not fundamentally free; external circumstances are not in our hands, they are in God’s hands, the one thing in which we are free is in our personal relationship to God. We are not responsible for the circumstances we are in, but we are responsible for the way we allow those circumstances to affect us; we can either allow them to get on top of us, or we can allow them to transform us into what God wants us to be. ~ Oswald Chambers
There are many times Oswald would write things relating to our relationship with God, loyalty to Jesus, and circumstances around us. I couldn’t find the exact devotion or quote that prompt me to write this.
But there has been many things happened in the last 2 months that I took a pause this morning, and asked if there’s something God wants to get my attention. Soon enough, God opened my eyes to see the numerous things which He is teaching me through the circumstance that I were in.
Continue readingPause is a good thing.
We started 2020 rather hecticly. There’s flood and my wife had to call home to ask my parents in law to evacuate. And then last night the haze from bushfire came to our doorstep. It was so close. The disasters that became the national headlines came to our homes.
Looking back at 2019, it was a year full of mixed emotions. We had many fears and troubled days, as well as bright and joyful occassions. We had our sorrows and also rejoicing moments.
Continue readingPerhaps, one of the biggest lessons for me this year is on humility & meekness.
I was asked what is my birthday wish? What do I want?
I do have one wish which I always dream and I know it would take me eternity. That is to be like God. In a sense that He is the highest goal and joy. In my own heart, one quality or attribute of God which I struggle most is humility. So that desire could easily translated into: “I want to be humble.”
Interestingly, I prayed 22 years ago asked God to help me to be humble. And again and again, I admit that I am still very far from it. Looking back, I think probably I’ve not move much from where I was. But I never stop of wanting to be humble.
Recently I had a moment in life where it’s painfully played and bruised me badly on the inside. It hurts and thank God that He is answering my prayer. I am still far from it. And I am looking forward to the day that I could be like Jesus. One who has no trail of self interest or self glory. But in all his being seek to glorify God and no mockeries or painful events would derail him from focusing on God.
On the same page, this morning I experienced a divine mercy where God opened my eyes to see how much He loved me through the giving of His Son. Totally undeserved sinner and helpess for anything to earn His love, He moved toward me. Jesus’ complete obedience and desire to please His father is just overwhelmed me. I can stand right before Holy God because Jesus’ perfect obedience; even through death on the Cross, and that simply because He trust His Father and seek to do His will above His own.
I am blown with that thought….it’s beyond my mind. The perfect obedience of the Son, the foreign love of God, and all that implies or follows as result of those just incomprehensible. All the world’s “good news” isn’t even a cent of that Good News. And all the world’s bad news can’t even scratch that Good News. And I think that’s the greatest gift that God had given us in Jesus Christ.
And that’s my prayer that I would always amazed by God’s love and Jesus’ sacrifice. The day I forgot or the Cross lost its beauty and charm, that’s the beginning of the end in my life. That means I’ve fallen short of God’s wish and will for me. And I’m walking on the path of the Israel. My prayer is that I might never forget. And it’s all God’s grace and mercy that I could wake up each morning, remembering His love for me.
In a way, I think if only I could fully wrap myself around His love, all the shortcomings of life won’t bruise me anymore. My ego isn’t that important anymore. Whether other people respect me or acknowledge me isn’t important anymore. And that’s probably when I could be perfect in humility & meekness. Trusting in God and obey Him without restraint, but as joyful will.
And that’s probably related to what’s my greatest aim in life? Would God’s glory be my highest goal? Or would my needs betray me there? If I were perfectly desiring God’s glory, I won’t mind by any roads or by any means. So long God gets the glory, whatever happened to me is not important. May I take joy & delight in bringing God the glory.
It has been lately in my mind and the devotion from Oswald Chambers today seems very apt. A lot of time I have struggle with my weaknesses and limitations. I want to do a lot things, but I am limited by time, knowledge, strength, and probably wisdom. And I thought if only I have better time management, clearer mind, greater strength, smarter brain, etc, then I would be able to achieve more.
And I was wondering what does ‘Power’ means when Jesus said when Holy Spirit comes you’ll be clothed with power from on high? Or what some writers talk about ‘Working from the place of Rest’? Or again what Isaiah said, “those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength like eagles?”
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