Psalm of a Clay

Posted on August 26, 2006 by clay

Here as promised )

Still not perfect…..but yah…its my first try  hehe

 

 

The Lord is my Potter, I shall not be ugly.

He forms me and molds me with gentleness.

For His name sake, he crafts me skillfully.

He restores me from all brokenness

 

Even though I shall be put on fire

I will fear not the flame.

For You are with me,

Your hands and your fingers,

they are my comfort and assurance

 

You prepare great things for me,

In the presence of other gods

You anoint me with grace after grace

My joy overflows

Surely admiration and praise will follow me

For your glory


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Back to life again

Posted on August 26, 2006 by clay

The days passed very quickly.

Two days i had external training and so after the training had the times for training my body, preparing for the end year run + meeting up with old friend that just came from indonesia and looking for job here. Was looking a present for my mum but i forgot the place …. only 1 year ago and i could totally forgot the place . Spent for preparing lesson for the children as well, and …sometthing else for a friend…..

Left all my personal things untouched. The books and papers are everywhere around my table and all over on the floor. The unread letters, the unsorted files, the unreplied contacts, the unfixed schedules & meetings, the unwritten emails, the training schedule i’ve not kept coz the tiredness……..some ppl that wrote emails cozed me ’emotionally’ provoked

only today that those few drops of grace kind bring me back to life. First this morning jog that due to my tiredness could’t complete the course…and during those walking times that i learnt many abt myself & few other important thing abt God and characteristic i should look from a potential wife 😀

and this afternoon, opened my email and saw grace’s ecard. Below is the content. Haha…. i love the psalm very much. Somehow it speaks clearly and personal…..perhaps bcs i’m still a programmer after all…hahaha….

i wonder if i can make my own version ….i think i will

Psalm 23 of a Programmer

The lord is my programmer; I shall not crash.
He installed his software on the hard disk of my heart;
all of his commands are user-friendly.
His directory guides me to the right choices for his name’s sake.
Even though I scroll through the problems of life,
I will fear no bugs, for He is my backup.
His password protects me.
He prepares a menu before me in the presence of my enemies.
His help is only a keystroke away.
Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life,
and my file will be merged with his and saved forever.

Amen

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The joy from little children

Posted on August 23, 2006 by clay

Last sunday was really wonderful

It’s always fun and refreshing to be among children and being with them. Even for 1 hour, it’s just fantastic.

Last Sunday however it’s quite special. This year i’m taking lower primary class (primary 3), and i applied the same process evaluation like last year that i did for primary 5 children.

When i told them to queue up, they really did. Obediently these little children queued up, waiting for their turn patiently, and then sit down listening to my evaluation, and were very glad when i gave them good mark.

i’d always remember the smiles on their faces. Have been for some times i’ve not seen such beauty and innocence. Smile of a little child )

That’s surely a good medicine for whatever my circumtance…burdened heart, tired body, and downcasted soul. Yes…even all their body actions expreses those joy inside….leaping on their feet, hands on top their heads, shouting out loud…..how i love them. Even the small and not pretty girl, she looks so adorable and lovely.

That morning i knew, that not only i enjoy children, but actually i’ve fallen in love with them. They almost all the time never fail to show me the childlike faith, trust, simplicity, and sincerity.

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“challenging” project

Posted on August 21, 2006 by clay

For the past few days i’m quite troubled with assignment of tis new project. Was thinking wats on earth wrong that i’m the one to do this thing? Wasn’t anyone better, more capable, more skillful to do it?

Was quite pissed off by the project leader whom i thought bossy & typical bad boss who knows just to order people and won’t let his hands dirty. it’s something really put me off meeting with leaders who know only to order ppl bcs they’re on top, and with ‘i said therefore it so’ mentality……….

this afternoon meeting with the sales guy and the technical consultant to get better understanding of the requirement. Few things i learnt from this ‘lousy’ leader that i’ve my hat off for him……:

his strong persistence to his ‘call’, his calm composure dealingwith difficult people, his authority, his decision making skill…….

at least until i’ve reached same level as him….shouldn’t ‘blame’ him for the flaws. there’re still many things i need to learn from him. And mostly impressed with his persistence….while i probably have given up at the few difficulties presented at beginning. Press On.

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The gift of music

Posted on August 15, 2006 by clay

This morning seems that there’s something missing, until i turned on the music & listened to ‘This Kingdom’. 

Knowledge informs & teaches us,

but the music lifts up our spirit and expresses our soul

through music the knowledge finds its way to express itself

and how good it’s when our heart respond rightly to our knowledge

feeling relieved and liberated 😀

and just pondering, perhaps the dull & boring Christians because they miss good music in their life. Without proper music, the knowledge will not find its way out. And when it’s stuck up there, it’s become rather a burden and chore.

the more i believe that music is a gift of God. For us to appropriate His revealed character & will.

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Psalm 108

Posted on August 12, 2006 by clay

1My heart is steadfast, O God!
I will sing and make melody with all my being!
2Awake, O harp and lyre!
I will awake the dawn!

I learn something wonderful this morning. This Psalm was written by David, and looking at verse 1, we ponder how good his relationship with God is. It causes him to sing & make melody … with all his being.

I wonder if i’ve come close to that. Surely i’m not as talented as David in music. However, the nearness and dearness of God as such that with all my being …  is singing & there spring forth melody!

And verse 2 added to my wonder. Seemingly, David woke up early in the morning, when it’s still dark. That’s could be the reason he can say “I will awake the dawn!”.

Really amazed, if David set it as his habit (spiritual habit). The first thing to do everyday, is to enjoy God. To meditate on His character & all His deeds. To praise Him for all His works. And to declare His praise as such that even the dawn should be awaken because of it. The declaration of the praiseworthiness of God should begin even before anything else takes place.

 hehe…now to the practical thing. Perhaps in the beginning will try, hmm..Dawn Waker sounds cool…hehe 

And one day perhaps to be Dawn Blogger 

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Great Deliverance

Posted on August 7, 2006 by clay

 Life is good on me. I didn’t realize it fully when my colleague told me that he need to come back on weekend to work. Until during lunch time, i got the full story of what happened on last weekend.

Last monday when i’d MC (sick leave), there’s bug found on a project. If i were around, i would be the one to do it, coz i was the backup person for that project. Since i’s on MC, another colleague took over and fixed the bug on last Thurs. Only to get another bug on last Fri.

That’s where the ‘fire’ broke out, and she received the scoldings for that bug. Not only that, my colleague that in charge for the project need to return back to office on that Fri nite. And together he and she worked till 12 nite, followed by another overtime work on Sat till 12 nite, and Sunday 1/2 day.

What did i do on Fri nite, Sat, and Sun?? I had good rest and enjoyed comics too much. I spend those days with happiness and without feeling of anything wrong on another part of this life. As she told us this afternoon during lunch. When on Fri she received the scolding…she’s almost cry. (Could understand that v. well).

I really don’t know what to say. Was at the mercy of my friend. She took my place (the scoldings and weekends at office). Also was delivered from ‘fighting the fire’ experience. And can’t imagine to face the tiring Sunday and working life again this week. Surely i’ve been spared.

 Added a little prayer at the end. Thanking God for great mercy to me, and love too great to be repaid. Truly i’m more convinced that i shouldn’t worry abt the future. For He’s able to deliver and put everything well. Man can plan, but the end of matters are in His hands.

 

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I can’t live without you all

Posted on May 25, 2006 by clay

Just wanna to list down how these people make my day  or keep me alive still 

Not in sequence since my brain is quite scattered all over…

1. JTG helped to fix arip’s CPU fan for me …. (save me the money but more the time to go and get new CPU fan)

2. Wee Ann helped me to buy new power supply …then carried it all the way

3. Khim Siong helped to make payment for my US ticket and went down to collect it for me…save me from all the hassle and lousy travel agent

4. Fang helped me to lead Bible Study….when i couldn’t make it, else that nite won’t be Bible Study and the people will go home “hungry” 

5. Xiaodong helped to bring the umbrella for me…else i will be all wet and got flu perhaps with the aircon blowing cold in office

6. Tepen organized movie nite to watch Xmen…hahaha…else i will stay as always…no social life, no movie, so boring…

7. Germaine helped to organize social for the group….i totally hopeless in organizing thing

8. Rika sent a meaningful song to cheer me up..

9. Ruth also made herself available and place for me to distress 

10. Abe helped me greatly, more than the whole office join together in terms knowledge and helpfulness….exactly wat i’s searching for hours.

11. Wai Pek that prayed for me…calmed me down and helped me focus

12. Perhaps those unknown people (behind scene) that prayed for me (like ci Ester, my mum, and i believe many more )

Yah…what can i do without these people? I only what i am today because they’ve come into my life. And i’m trully thankful for them. Either way i could count the bad days like the power supply broke down, I damaged arip’s cpu fan, last minute bug, last minute big problem on project, people left me alone, lousy travel agent … or count each person that make me for what i am today.

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Walking by faith, working by prayer

Posted on May 23, 2006 by clay

Another hurt that i caused for someone.

Didn’t realize that i’ve hurt someone so much. Something that perhaps i’ve no answer. To do one thing is wrong, to do the other will cause the hurt. And i know that i chose the later because i couldn’t do something which i know is wrong.

So yah, i’ll take this as part of being human. I can’t always get the best and make the best decision all the times. When recovery and good are beyond me, Lord i’ve made this resolution. To walk by faith (that as much as i follow ur way) and to work by prayer (God is able to do more than what i can think of).

I believe again with the power of prayer. That God can do more than what I can imagine. That I should focus on my part….and leave God do the things beyond my control and power. One decision at a time. Regret not for making mistake….but repent when I follow not Thy principles.

Fear of God is beginning of wisdom. Seek it as one who seeks earthly treasures.

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God demonstrated His love

Posted on May 23, 2006 by clay
Last nite had a nice supper  after the stressful weeks and days…

and shared my internal struggle….

thank God that this dear sister didn’t condemn me or talking abt theological stuff… What a wise deed indeed…Asked me to scream  hehe…haven’t done that for 1 year…

Had a very good sleep and rest last nite, this morning woke up and heard Andrew singing the song: “The love of my God is really demonstrated by the giving out of His Son”. That song spoke deep to my aching heart…and provided exactly clear picture of what this struggle all about. The heart is willing but the mind is weak. But in comparison with God’s love……….what could i say???

I’m glad that finally i’ve come to see clearly about all the struggles this year. And trully encouraged by that song and Andrew’s singing  Truly warmed my heart ….that God’s love demonstrated so marvelously in the giving out His one and only Son. What can i say God? My heart is willing, yet my flesh is weak. So help me to do your Will.

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