Perhaps, one of the biggest lessons for me this year is on humility & meekness.
I was asked what is my birthday wish? What do I want?
I do have one wish which I always dream and I know it would take me eternity. That is to be like God. In a sense that He is the highest goal and joy. In my own heart, one quality or attribute of God which I struggle most is humility. So that desire could easily translated into: “I want to be humble.”
Interestingly, I prayed 22 years ago asked God to help me to be humble. And again and again, I admit that I am still very far from it. Looking back, I think probably I’ve not move much from where I was. But I never stop of wanting to be humble.
Recently I had a moment in life where it’s painfully played and bruised me badly on the inside. It hurts and thank God that He is answering my prayer. I am still far from it. And I am looking forward to the day that I could be like Jesus. One who has no trail of self interest or self glory. But in all his being seek to glorify God and no mockeries or painful events would derail him from focusing on God.
On the same page, this morning I experienced a divine mercy where God opened my eyes to see how much He loved me through the giving of His Son. Totally undeserved sinner and helpess for anything to earn His love, He moved toward me. Jesus’ complete obedience and desire to please His father is just overwhelmed me. I can stand right before Holy God because Jesus’ perfect obedience; even through death on the Cross, and that simply because He trust His Father and seek to do His will above His own.
I am blown with that thought….it’s beyond my mind. The perfect obedience of the Son, the foreign love of God, and all that implies or follows as result of those just incomprehensible. All the world’s “good news” isn’t even a cent of that Good News. And all the world’s bad news can’t even scratch that Good News. And I think that’s the greatest gift that God had given us in Jesus Christ.
And that’s my prayer that I would always amazed by God’s love and Jesus’ sacrifice. The day I forgot or the Cross lost its beauty and charm, that’s the beginning of the end in my life. That means I’ve fallen short of God’s wish and will for me. And I’m walking on the path of the Israel. My prayer is that I might never forget. And it’s all God’s grace and mercy that I could wake up each morning, remembering His love for me.
In a way, I think if only I could fully wrap myself around His love, all the shortcomings of life won’t bruise me anymore. My ego isn’t that important anymore. Whether other people respect me or acknowledge me isn’t important anymore. And that’s probably when I could be perfect in humility & meekness. Trusting in God and obey Him without restraint, but as joyful will.
And that’s probably related to what’s my greatest aim in life? Would God’s glory be my highest goal? Or would my needs betray me there? If I were perfectly desiring God’s glory, I won’t mind by any roads or by any means. So long God gets the glory, whatever happened to me is not important. May I take joy & delight in bringing God the glory.