Mum is still the best

called home and talked with mum yesterday abt my decision on work.
thank u so much mum for being understanding and patient.
i thank God too who works amazingly such that things turn out good, much better than what i expected earlier. thank u Lord.

even just now, still received a reply mail from mum. urged me to stay focus and discipline =). What a mum.

this few days are quite quiet,
means something is working underneath,
end of year is coming,
anxious of what is in stored…hahaha

stay focus and discipline

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Game blow out lesson

It’s quite interesting :]
I was really frustrated yesterday and this morning.
Things didn’t work as i want and expect.
When reality doesnt meet expectation, comes disappointment
and frustration (chris’ law)

And this afternoon, the turning point game from a Xbox game…
I was frustrated that just on the Xbox and played though i told myself before that it’s a waste of time!
I guessed i really enjoyed the game. Able to upgrade my troops till very solid. Equip with strong weapons…=) And ready for battles
In fact with a strong army and “leadership” i was enjoying the game and thought of winning the mission very well.

Only at last i found “mission failed” because the time was run out!!
What a major blow to the “general”

Perhaps what happened in the game reflected what happened in real life.
I was focusing on myself and capabilities. Taking things in my own hands. Do all things i can to achieve the target. And forget the most essential, Proverbs 3 : 5 – 6 :

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight”

That means to trust God with all not half of my heart.
Let him have all the matters.
Rest on his knowledge. And commit all my plans unto him.
I have done my best, and time to ask him to bless and bring things out to completion. Basically to do my part and leave God for the rest. While initially i do everything and leave God no room for anything. Either i’m too caught up, or i am too confident and pride took me up

Thank God only a game blown up. Indeed only a game, not real fight and live 😀

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Passed through few interviews

Today another interview…
And the more puzzled
Have to wait for same 2 – 3 weeks…
And that’s for 2nd interview …

Things haven’t been cleared yet …
It’s tiring mentally,
And i felt very tired inwardly and
quite a frustration of not knowing what should i do
Feel very week to decide,
And want to just close my eyes and sleep
Very bad ….

Thank God however for some good news from friends around me …
Their joy serve as my joy too
Time to rest and cool down

Take things easy vic
One thing at a time

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Prayer before 2nd interview

Lord, if it is not for me,
please stop me,
else, help me to pass through
Amen.

It’s very comforting,
to know that everything is in His control
to accept what’s best from Him
that He’ll protect my way from wrong
and will not withold anything good from me

Surely i will not rest in man’s word
my only confident is in the Lord
He leads me and He guides me

No matter how many things i’ve done
how much i’ve prepared
At the end of the day
to Thee i return
And find rest at Thy feet.

To Him who has not stopped showing His kindness
to the living and the dead
be the glory forever and ever
Amen.

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At last,

Have been 3 weeks since i came back to sg again,
Finally i could have a taste of rest…
The last weeks have been v. tiring physically and emotionally, mentally also … definitely affected my spirit also
Somehow tonite it’s very quiet here…hehehe….
Could enjoy my room again after 1 month plus?

And yah, slowly arranging my things back ….
and get back to the “normal” life
with the hope of getting a job soon,
but a better one of course,
and life would go “kinder” at this end

all thank to God, who answers prayers and who is real,
the One that i found in the Bible
the One that showing himself still alive and true
In the past i see Him as a tough God
thanks for book of Ruth
He’s also a loving and kind God (can’t fully describe in words, have to do Ruth bible study)

thanks for my family also,
in my tough times, they’re really ones that’re supporting me
and ppl whom God used to help me through,
it’s amazing … God uses ordinary ppl in natural ways

Tonite learn the truth of this stmt again,
“Live simple and humble”
“Fear Him always”
“For Him be all glory”

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Again mother’s love

Give a quite long call to mum,
and touched by what she said
that she’s praying for me to get the job that i want not what she wants.

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Know my strings

i jus touched my violin again after … so long …
The unemployment is a good thing as well …
Otherwise i may never touch it again….
And by touching it, my love was revived
Waow…. i hope that everyday i could just spend an hour to practice my violin again
One year hasn’t been practising, sure i lost many touches,
but it’s not too late now

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One week after holiday

TG so much for the holiday i had. Its really very good.
Very good in many senses.
First, there’re 2 public holidays, so i could spend times with my friends. From there, I found out the struggles of people in my age. Finding or getting a soul mate. That’s a real struggle. And i came to know that, know of people expectation, and how young people approach the issues related.
Share on last sat. to my youth fellowship and hope God used that to build the young people up.

Each meetings are v important and memorable to me. Meeting with Herry was precedeed by a long talk with lao shi mei ling. I’m very much encouraged to know that today’s children church arre much better than my days. Even here the kids were told about salvation and believing in Jesus. And how my lao shi now keeping this goal in her mind. I am very much thankful for this positive thing.

With herry, Lord i pray that your grace on your time be revealed to him. I’m glad for his openess and honesty. I believe something great is in store for him. May the Lord keep him and train him. Go on my little brother .

I guess it’s another issue in young life: education. Sure it’s a struggle of its own. Thank God for reminding me again of this stage of life. It could be a real help to understand this.

Other issues like resting and let my mind being opened by the vastness and broadness of Indonesia. Being challenged by my good friend idealism. Being challenged by the complexity of life and way of thought and maturity of some people. Surely this holiday trained my mind and expanded it, strengthened it and firmed it. To be able to see a larger world than what i’m used to see.

And yet, by seeing the vastness and bigness of these things, just to bring me to realise what’s a bigger still my hope in God. All things in its maximum are less compare to what i have hoped in the Lord till this day. It just strengthened my desire and firmed my will. O Lord, if this is the way you lead, keep me. Those who trust in Him will never be put to shame. And He will not despise the desire of the righteous.

Thank God for the many skills learned. The free style and some mandarin =). Oh ya, and the skill to make a baked complete delicious potato

Time to ponder abt my rel. as well, as i received some input from friends. Well, this one i just hear and consult it to the Lord and He help me to walk in the correct path. Even when my walk is wrong, I can only thank God for his endless grace. He’s so good and gracious to such sinner as I.

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1 week of holiday

1 week has passed
thank God for the good times i had,
tonite met with ci ester,
had a nice dinner together and i ate nasi pecel…waow so nice hehehe…
i have managed my time poorly…
didn’t achieved my target to learn free-style,
reading the CS Lewis, and the small books…

but it’s a good holiday for me,
i saw the vastness of indonesia…
the richness of the people from different backgrounds and upbringings, come up with different styles and unique individuals…
the different kind of things that ppl are working at,
the different kind of food and yah….
there’re so many of things and ways of doing them

catching up with old friends…
pondering upon life and things in life…
i was pondering upon friendship once again…
what does it take for a friendship…
time together…
through the fire and water together…

thank u Lord for opening my eyes
good nite

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2nd day of holiday

It’s very nice to be home again after about 1 year =)
The time flies quite slowly here…
Yesterday spent some times talking with my best friend over phone and we excited each other with our news…hahahaha…he called me a happy man…
And also good chat with ci ester….
still same as usual…looking forward to meet her next week

Visited my grandpa…he’s still in good health and memory for an old man…thank God.
Family issues remain the same…

Then was surprised by a 12 year old girl renting a room in my home. She’s quite cute and daring….like one of my sunday school girl ^_^
Nowdays the kids grow very fast …

And this morning, accompanied my brother to shop around for VCD and some computer peripherals….
Till afternoon and i finished reading the Count of Monte Cristo… yuppi…one book finished. Played badminton for 2 hours….really satisfied…

Then could connect internet from my notebook….waow….and download my files….=)
Tomorrow can do some typings…Hmmmm seems will have some works to do….
This morning was my first time to enjoy a long quiet time when i can ponder upon things and got so many things from a passage. I long for these days….woke up in the morning and do my quiet time, unhurry by work and people…
I have the whole morning …

Not to forget the first foods that i tasted…..
remind me of surabaya delicacies….
i wished the time will run slower…

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