In memory of my late father

Yesterday, I met my new supervisor. Somehow, from our conversation, reminded me of my late father. And yeah, after all these years…somehow, i would still wish if he could remain alive today. I wish that i could be like any other children, or even adult, when his dad is around to talk and guide, even enjoying my daugthers.

I would remember then, how he had lived. How he work hard to ensure our family have all the good things. And how I wish that he could be less hard-working and live longer just to be with us.

I don’t mind less eating in restaurant, if he could still be alive today.
I don’t mind of the old house, if it meant he could still be alive today.
I don’t mind of less pocket money, and did not enjoy my favorite food in canteen, if it could make him work less harder and still be alive today.
And I don’t mind of us working harder as family, if it could help him to bear the burden alone.

Indeed, I think, what most important in life is who we are, and not what we can do.
After all said and done, we would exchange everything for the time we spend with our loved ones.
If it meant for us to live with less in order to have him more, I think none of us would complain.

Teach me Lord to treasure my life. I would not want to repeat the same with my wife and my children. Even as young as a little baby, she knows that to see the father is of a greater joy than all the plays.

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Broken and Torn yet Special

Yesterday, unusually my girl waited for me at the window again. She was such a joyful girl. And later my wife told me that she had been waiting for me to open her favorite red drink. And my wife she had to wait for me because mama could not open the lid.

I tried to open for her using my bare hands. It failed.

Then i took a piece of sturdy cloth. Again it failed.

My eyes chance upon this broken and torn cloth. My girl shouted to me,”hey it is torn”. I replied to her,”yes, it was torn, but it will fit the purpose”.

Indeed, it was perfectly fit for the purpose. And I managed to open the lid to her joy. I hope she learnt a good lesson. And it was a good reminder to me also. A broken and torn, ugly cloth, was still better off than a well cloth for that purpose.

What are we to tell God that something so broken to be used by Him? If such broken ugly torn cloth could be useful to me, how much more each one of us (how ugly, broken, and torn) in the hands of Almighty God?

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Poor Example

Yesterday, i brought my girl to the playground as usual. She did well, waiting patiently for her turn for her favorite swing. It was quite late, and we only had 15 minutes before dinner time.

She got her chance to play the swing after waiting awhile. As we were enjoying the play, a father brought her little girl there. The following what I did next was deeply regretted.

I turned to face my girl and push her from in front. I always worry for her safety (especially when she’s tired & sleeply), coz if she were thrown forward, she could hit the stone bench and get hurt.

But it means now the father and her little girl was facing my back. And i thought just a little awhile, and I will finish with my girl the swing. To my horror, the girl next, was not giving up her swing either, and she was making it seems longer. And finally the father and her little girl left.

I felt very sorry for the man with his little girl. I am really sorry and didn’t meant to ask them to wait for too long for the favorite game of the park. The next time I would tell them that i would just take a little bit longer with my girl, and going home for dinner soon. So they know that they could wait to enjoy the swing. And i would be seen as giving good example for my own girl.

I was such bad example for my girl and other people. Poor me!

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Worship in the Odd timing

For the last 4 nites probably, I have been sleeping around 2am. Because our newborn girl started to wake up at 11pm. And she will slowly empty her bowel with little drops (followed by a lot of pains & cries because the gas in her stomach pushing the intestines), till she’s exhausted and slept.

For record, i slept 2.30, 2.10, 3.00, 1.00. And today, my wife took turn so i managed to slept at 1am.

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From Apple to Jesus

This morning, as usual, we eat breakfast together. We finished the cherry, blueberry, and left with two pieces of apple on the plate. So i asked my girl to choose which apple she wanted. She picked the bigger, with cheeky smile on her face.

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I am thankful for Jesus

For the last few nights, i have been watching my girl crying in pain when she’s passing motion. Many times i pleaded with the Lord for mercy. I couldn’t take it to see my girl in such pain (when she cried till no more tears).

And God reminded me, that Jesus went through much more pain on the cross.

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Psalm 128

A few quick interesting findings from today’s reading:

  1. It’s open to everyone (v.1)
  2. The assurance from God about this year, that will eat the fruit of hand’s labor. Something which i long for, after laboring for years and haven’t really eaten the hard work. (v.2)
  3. The blessings will fall on the family too (wife & children blossoming) (v.3)

So, the challenge is to fear God.

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Assurance for having children

We read Psalm 127, and it says this:

Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. (v.3)

So when we look at our newborn girl, it cannot be a mistake. She is a gift from God.

The fact that my wife carried her in her womb for 9 months and delivered safe & smoothly, it’s the reward from God.

I cannot think otherwise. For humanly speaking, conception and child labor…so many things could go wrong. If it’s not the Lord who ordains it, it would certainly not come to pass. The very fact that this baby was ours, praise be to God.

He hears all our prayers (safe, healthy, normal baby), not midnite, we’ve our sleep & meal. Every prayers regarding this delivery was answered. Including the transport and my help.

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Psalm 126

Bringing up children like sowing in tears.

And the promise of God, there will be joyful harvest.

We are waiting for the day.

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Psalm 125

God’s protection over His people.

We could trust in Him, because He is like mountains surround His people.

God our protector. Our first girl’s name reflect this. Again, it’s beautiful reminder for the New Year too. God will protect us.

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