Our Story

Posted on June 25, 2010 by clay

Yesterday I’m really glad that we made it to watch Toy Story 3. If not because God’s intervention, i wonder when we’d watch it. We had little quarrel also . Thank God for the wonderful arrangement that we never thought of…thanks alot to AA 

The movie is superb. I would place it among the best movies i’ve ever watched thus far. It’s all the ingredients for the best movie. Just a short promo, that if you haven’t watched it, you should watch it, better still with people whom you love & care.

Even after we left the theatre, we’re still talking abt it, and my mind & heart still pounding bcs of it. It’s just wonderful.

And one thing which impresses me deeply…even toys have stories. Which my wife replied that everything has stories, even bees, bugs, cockroaches, frogs….or even ogre But to me still, toys having story? Even, they’ve sense of destiny and purpose. Purpose for existence.

And if such the case, how much wonderful and great is story of us? Indeed, i believe…our stories so great and beautiful…because God is there, and He’s interested in us. He invested in our stories – our very lives.

As i watching the Toy Story….one day would i have a chance to see my life story from God’s eyes….how it look??

To be continued…my wife calling for dinner 

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For Better For Worse

Posted on June 7, 2010 by clay

Yesterday would definitely a day we’d remember.

As our usual routine, going for swimming nearby complex.

Then the first big thing, penpen stuck in middle of the pool.

I came to save her…but it’s not successful.

So then, 2 adults struggling in middle of the pool.

I’ve tried my best to be calm in that situation.

And do my best to keep her afloat and calm as well.

But somehow it didn’t work. She didn’t make any progress to move.

And i can’t tell how much longer i could stay on pushing her up without myself being pushed down.

Good thing, the rescue team came, and he offered penpen floating pillow…long & thin like worm…

So there & then…very thankful that nothing happened.

We didn’t know what would happen if help didn’t come.

And penpen got her first mark on swimming pool, a weak swimmer. I’m glad at least she passed the beginner level and regarded as a swimmer 

Then she went up first to shower & changed. Subsequently, i followed. The time is close to 9pm when I finished and both of us left the complex, went for our dinner. We still didn’t think of anything could be wrong. Our thought more on the tiredness of the day, the incident in the pool, and the remark of weak swimmer. It’s our usual enjoyment time, walking together at night. Only then the question whether to buy some groceries or headed straight home, which I chose the latter because it’s quite late & i felt tired.

When we arrived at our door house, penpen couldn’t find the house key. She opened the place where she thought the key was there, but the key was not there. So we traced back the sequence of the day. She remembered the key with me and i never passed the key to her. After we left the house, i put the key on my pocket, till we reach the swimming pool, i still put in the pocket…only passed the clothes to penpen. And i thought she kept the key in her bag. So it’s clear then, she thought i kept the key, and i thought she kept the key. But the fact now, the key was not in her bag, nor it’s in my pocket. So where’s the key?

Worries, fears, whatever had started to crawl in our minds. We must dropped the key somewhere, most likely in the swimming pool. And i know that by this time, it most likely will already been closed. Without the key, we won’t be able to enter the house. All our things are inside the house, including our HP and everything basically. And if it’s lost, we won’t able to do anything till Thurs. Hohoho…..

So we rushed back to swimming pool, from far…i saw it’s already dark & quiet. And nearer, my heart sank…the gate already closed. That’s it, we’re too late. So there….the pain felt so bad. We’re now in very bad situation. First, if the key inside, how are we going to spend the night? If the key is not there, things are far worse….we can’t think of it for now. Then, a man came…then he opened the side gate…(got hope we thought). So pen2 approached her, conversed in Chinese, asking for his help to find key for us. Thank God, he’s a nice person, and willing to help. 1,5,10 mins he hasn’t came back…and i already knew…it’s bad news. If he found the key, it won’t take so long. Then he came back, pen2 rushing to approach him…then he said, “couldnt find”. His question only deepened our misery…”what’s so important abt the key?”…..Well, it’s our house key. “So what?” That’s the only key we brought, without it, we can’t enter the house. “No spare key?” It’s inside the house, we left the spare key inside! “Then stay somewhere?” Where to stay? We don’t bring our hp, or worse still…identity card!. “Hehe..ok, good luck.”

On our pockets, we left with $3, plus ATM card i brought with me. So pen2 went back to withdraw some cash if we need to buy drinks & food. At same time, she checked place we had dinner. I had stomached to make things worse…that i’m not capable of doing much things. My dear wife went out…through the dark and night…searching the lost key…and i was sitting there waiting for the bags. Then a cat passed by…..then it entered the swimming pool complex. Wah..i thought…could this cat be God’s answer to our problem? I called the cat….and amazingly, it stopped, and looked at me. And to my wild imagination….i told the cat to get the key for us…as if the cat can really understand and do it (well anything as long as i get the key back!!) The cat answered with soft “meow”, and disappeared in the dark. Then i realized how foolish i was….how can a cat get a key? Cat is not smart animal, unlike dog. And what if it played with the key or eat the key or hid the key somewhere?……..Forget it…hope the cat won’t find the key.

Then pen2 came back, confirmed the key was not at our dinner place. Hence our last hope, it’s in the swimming complex. Then began our doubtful journey to find nearby hotel (there’s cheap and good one nearby). We already thought and prayed…the biggest problem we’re not bringing any IC. Be it i said, this all we had, we just tell the truth. So i went forward, “do you still have any available room for the night?” Yes. “How much?”…blablabla……Can we have your IC please? ……..Erm…blablabla………..Sorry sir, we need your IC…..but the IC inside the house and the house is locked and therefore we’re here………..blablabla………

The earlier idea of going through all the hotels on this road went away. Unlikely anyone would take us in…so we took a cab, going to FP. Inside the cab, pen2 laughed few times. “For better for worse”, she said. For better all the good things we’ve enjoyed. And this perhaps the worst part in our marriage life. We felt like two kids, having no home, now left on the street and bringing only clothes in our body…:D I’m very grateful for this wife. Who can still laugh when such this happen. Very thankful.

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Wife

Posted on June 4, 2010 by clay

Part of marriage life is the preparation class I took 2 years ago.

Something that opened my eyes then and always remembered as my great homework.

The study of her, and woman in general.

Many things i’ve found out after the 9 months into marriage

What Proverb says I absolutely agree. That an excellent wife, far better than precious jewels. And more than house & wealth that could be inherited from parents, a prudent wife comes from the Lord .

Interestingly when I meditate on question about Peter’s description of wife as “weaker vessel”, i wonder if it refers to the whole thing about woman, and a wife in particular. That she needs the love in form of words, gestures, actions, in short…assurance of being loved.

“..husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel,..” (1 Pet 3 : 7)

As i was thinking about this, hearing someone share about her family life. How her husband told her stupid, and then later when she reflected again, she thought herself quite stupid. I don’t know the complete story, nor do I try to find out more the actuality of the story. But one thing I take to heart, how important is a husband’s word for the wife. Whether he meant it or not, and whether the wife seriously believe it or not, somehow…part of being a wife, what husband say carry importance. Not sure whether vice versa though

“Lord, forgive me for the hurting words that I’ve spoken to her. And help me to speak gentle & loving words to my wife.”

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Going to House of Mourning

Posted on May 21, 2010 by clay

It is better to go to a house of mourning
than to go to a house of feasting,
for death is the destiny of every man;  ~(Ecc 7:2a)~

This afternoon, few colleagues asked me join to pay homage to late Dr Goh Keng Swee. I’ve thought abt it if given a chance, I’d like to go & see. So this afternoon, we went to Parliament House. First time for all of us. Passed through security check, and waited under the sun for there’s a queue (usual thing here), before we finally reached the inside of the House and enjoying the aircon. So there’s a rectangle hall where we all queued in row of 7, and it’s full of people, going to one direction….the late Dr Goh. Along the hall, there’re plenty display of condolence packages  from various people & companies.

The first thought accross my mind, about the Judgment Day. When throngs of people queuing for judgment. How it’s gona look like? The grandness of the place, the atmosphere, the wait, the unavoidable, unescapable, the destiny. It will be sad and terrifying thing for some… Yet i know, it’ll be day of celebration, joy, and peace. The flowers will be blooming not of condolence. The atmosphere will be full of dancing and singing instead of solemn & maundy. Yet through that crowded hall…I’m more aware of the meaning “living for audience of One.” That it’s such a terrifying thing, to enter court of Judgement (looking at the stature, design, and chair)….and times millions with the Heavenly Court. Dare we to live carelessly? Only if we know how dreadful that day would be, we’d have live wiser, in right fear of God.

Then came our turn, to see the dead body of Dr Goh. On top his body, laid his medals. I must admit, what’s written is true. Death is the destiny of every man. All man’s labor & toil all his life….end when the person died. Including all achievements, applauses, and awards. When one dies, everything is gone. The world became nothing. That’s the sobering truth.

Hence, the teacher is not wrong to conclude, that everything is meaningless. No matter what we do, everything will be left behind. No matter how much meaning we want to attach to everything, even our work and our self. When a person died, all those are left behind.

Definitely, one must look beyond death, to find meaning of life. Work of itself is meaningless, unless there’s something external to give meaning to it, which last beyond the grave. I think that’s the point the Teacher was driving to. Everything is meaningless, only something beyond death is meaningful. What’s the thing?

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Inconvenient Truth

Posted on May 17, 2010 by clay

I was reading abt a speaker’s message on community development work in Indonesia (Transformation). That at the end of the message, i felt as if something is missing. Re-read again the development of the argument & flow of the message. And i remembered what my pastor said this year, “you can do the work of God and don’t know the God of the work.”

That’s exactly how i feel after reading the message. There’re so much emphasis on personal’s work. Focusing on technique, methods, and results….that i sense where all this drive to…the glory of the promoter at the end, when it’s successful, and the fault of the executor if things don’t go well. But set this aside, for there’re more important thing.

We can do the work of the Lord, but do not know the Lord of the work. And that sentence remind me of the scary truth in Mat 7:21-23, which still vividly in my mind. They come from mouth of Jesus, noone’s pleasers except the Father.

Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!”

That i was tempted to add (for making the point clearer), in our days, people say, “did we not help the poor in your name, and in your name build destroyed villages, nurse the lepers, sending orphan to schools, giving food to the hungry, and perform many good & noble deeds?” Yet Jesus’ answer will be the same, “I never knew you, away from me, you evildoers.” For doing God’s work is not the same as knowing the God of the work. Man can do many good & great things, from selfish motive & vain conceit, not from the heart that knows the God. This is the first truth that so troubling, for those busy doing things.

There’re also those who say they know the God of the work, but not doing anything of God’s work. They too will face the same ending. As it’s written on earlier part,

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.”

When it says not everyone, meaning there’re some among those who say “Lord, Lord,” would be saved, because they do the will of God. So then, salvation is both by knowing and doing. Those doing without knowing belong to the first group above, while those knowing without doing belong to the second group. Only the third group, knowing and doing, who will enter the kingdom of Heaven.

To explain the second point more persuasively, another part of Jesus’ teaching which so clear on this can be found in Mat 25:41-43,45

 

“Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

 “He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

 

That on the basis of deeds not done, they’re condemned. That one may claim to know God, yet without doing anything to the least, God would not be pleased. Which comes first, doesn’t really matter to me. One may start with doing God’s work to know God of the work eventually. One may know God before eventually drawn to do His work. At the end, they both know God and do His will.

 

It’s as scary as the dream I had. The people who think they’re right (either because they know or they do), yet they’re wrong and in danger. May this entry serve as warning to whoever come & read. The other thing which will be another entry, the false teachers of this days with their teachings that blinding many….may the Lord destroy them.

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Housing Saga (6) – NS2 man

Posted on May 10, 2010 by clay

Common here, NS stands for National Service.

Was thinking on reflection about the recent event of house moving.

I can also say NS2(square)  as Nor Saint Nor Superman.

It describes me best throughout this period.

Far from being a Superman, i call out for help a lot from different people and friends. And many times I / my solution were unreliable. And far from being a saint…i’ve hurt my wife often and broke my promise of not making her cry.

From small things to big things … from one stage to another … there’re seems so many things we end up quarreling. I didn’t know that moving out & in a house could be so comprehensive. Basically it’s between my way, or her way. Backward from moving in (where to put the bed, bookshelf, etc), packing (what to put into this box, which box go first), moving out (where to stay, what kind place we should look at, how long we should stay here, what’s our plan next, etc). Unpacking stuff also (what to unpack first, where to put things, etc), that at end..we end up split the job…i do the dirty stuff, she does the clean stuff

My way…do first and think later. Her way … think first then do. My way put everything first and sort out later, her way… label properly so easy to sort out later. My way of moving around till find perfect one, her way of planning for perfect one and go around to find…..still many others.

It’s a good lesson for me. As my teacher said earlier, marriage will make you better man

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Best Interest

Posted on May 10, 2010 by clay

A thought that came to my mind.

Thinking about Jesus’ parable on the owner of vineyard who at last sending his own son, thinking that they will respect his son, but end up his son was beaten and killed.

If God is the owner of the vineyard, won’t He knows what will happen? Can’t he tell what will happen if his son come? Instead of acceptance it’ll be rejection.

However, it’s clear from the parable, that God has no evil thought / worst case scenario. In his heart & mind, it’s the best possible outcome, that these people will listen to his son. What happened then it’s history, but i am so humbled with God’s mind & heart. He who knows human’s heart, yet still even the last point, give mankind chance, not closing the door, who knows man might repent…and the very last minute.

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Housing Saga (4) – Anti climax

Posted on May 9, 2010 by clay

Today, finally, we taste goodness…really pleasant

The awaited move. After two weeks staying at friend’s place…was really a lovely place, wonderful wonderful one.

Yet, there’s something different with staying at ur own’s place.

Though it’s not ours, yet we enjoy the privacy having the whole unit for ourself (for now)

Thank God for this place. In front of us, a fitness centre, so i can train more regularly. Diagonal front, is a basketball court if some friends wanna to play basketball. Just less than a minute walk, there’s restaurant & cafe with reasonable price

And tonite, we went down for dinner, it’s quite our usual place. HEhe…after sometimes wondering, at the end, we stay near where we used to stay before With more granaries surround, and better environment

Just the unpacking and cleaning will take some times. Really thank God for this place and the timing, and everything else. That despite the things happened previously, we could have relief now

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Friends for

Posted on May 6, 2010 by clay

I can’t wait it any longer.

On my desk, a calendar with picture of 10 people forming a circle on the air, hanging there, experiencing the free fall…but slowly i guess. The small notes below, about working together, achieving something wonderful.

Yesterday, during our dinner, listening to San&Lis share about their life’s stories. And I recalled, how much we need other people for our live & survival. Indeed, perhaps it’s often taken for granted the fact that we depend on other people.

And similarly, it’s now the common attitude & belief of a lone ranger, super hero lifestyle….the me and myself, and my family. The rests are outsiders or passer-by, who only important when there’s a need for me and myself and my … to grow bigger.

Something which I become more convinced daily, after the so many things we went through….our wedding, our honeymoon, our moving out house, our temporary stay, and our moving in to new place, that biblically…life together is the way. As those 10 people hanging there for one another, so journeying through life is like that. It’s just too dangerous to go alone. And with holding on one another, together they could achieve something bigger which individually they can’t.

If one cries out why life so fierce, the question probably whether one has friends.

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Housing Saga (3) – What do you have?

Posted on May 5, 2010 by clay

“What do you have?”, asked the person on the other side.

 

“Hmm,”

  • 1 king size mattress
  • 1 IKEA Billy bookshelf
  • 29 boxes (3 big boxes)
  • 1 kitchen drawers
  • 2 small bedroom drawers
  • 1 light coffee table
  • 1 computer table
  • 6 luggage
  • small items here & there.
“,came my reply.
When i think again about it, that’s much our possession. No luxurious items, except our king size mattress with its story. And the precious bookshelf to store our precious collections. The rest is just kitchen utensils and plenty of books
It humbles me, whenever I think of what we have. It’s not much, and yet it’s something also. That we’re still far better of than those who have none. Indeed, we’ve many clothes & books.
I remember when was young, as little child, i treasured my small treasure box. And i used to store Singapore dollar notes (2,10,20), which i kept like it’s treasure. The box still there, whenever i go home, i always cherish that memory. A small boy, holding up to his treasure box so tightly.
Today, it’s not of much value anymore. What i treasured so much in past, has lost its value over time. And soon, what i treasure today too, all the money in banks / wealth accumulated, will soon lose their values. As i was again reminded through the online sermon….”naked we came, naked we’ll depart.” Nothing is really gained by accumulating & storing up things. Their values depreciate over time, and we don’t carry them when we depart.
1 year from now, or 10 years from now, when the other side ask me,”what do you have?”. I wonder what answer will i give. Will i still say, “not much, only ……..”  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. ~(Mat 6:21)~
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