Argghhhh…

Posted on February 11, 2005 by clay

hehehe…
uhuhuhuhuh….again…
given choices to do study on book Jonah or Hosea,
thought that Jonah would be too straight forward and i’ve done it before…so decided to do Hosea…
now i’m stuck ….hehehehe…..arggghhhhh…
why i like the difficult things and now complaining

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Morning slow walk

Posted on February 8, 2005 by clay

A very sobering morning.
felt so weak and useless,
God showed me my errors
it’s from inside comes all the evils
from inside man’s heart comes all kinds of evils
as Jesus teaches us from book of Mark
so first step is to clean my heart
forgive me my sins Lord
and clean me from all unrighteousness
clean my heart Lord
and wash me clean
love the Lord your God with all your heart, …
it says all,
and “all” means all

having a slow walk in the morning helps to think clearly 
more importantly to wake up early
and meditate on His Word 

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A sad fact of living here

Posted on February 2, 2005 by clay

i’m glad that i found out what’s wrong.
and also sad for the fact that something is not right .

have been pondering over the life i’ve been living here for 5 more years. Somehow something is strange but i couldn’t really pin point.

realised that i’m slow in processing things, hence it will take me around 2 weeks just to process and understand a significant statement. 

Imagine that i’m battered with a lot of such statements every week … 😐

the fast-paced life here certainly doesn’t do much good for a healthy living …
now what will come out of it?
Only the Potter knows

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11 Months Left

Posted on January 31, 2005 by clay

Somehow glad that time flies quite fast…
Means i’m enjoying my work. In fact, it doesn’t feel like working at all :D.
Told my colleagues just now when we’re inside taxi returning to office after a lunch buffet. Really it doesn’t seems like working…coming to office, chatting freely, and quite often group lunch … different restaurants, and all laughing, not mentioning some games after office hours, and ppl ordering Pizza, KFC, McD for OT …
walio…wat a working life…:D
Perhaps u have to see our photo Database, and thought we’re all having fun times at workplace. And as i told my other friend, either u’re stress or u’re sleepy coz nothing much to do…hehehe ;P

But yah, on more serious note, one month just passed (15 more mins to go). Looking back, i really thank God. It’s been a v. wonderful month for me. Getting used to my new time schedule and routine of life. Though i felt it’s very short, yet it’s full of ups and downs. And what joy to have people like jtg, arip, tepen, aris, andrew, and christo…:D … and one more prazt hehehehe … 
now there’re fp8…wondering if one day the number will grow till 10s? 20s? 

another thing i realized just now was God’s love, especially his patience. Love is patient the Bible says. Then my understanding of patience was wrong, or too shallow. Thank you Lord. This words that somehow came close will close this month and open the following months:
Unless the LORD builds the house,
its builders labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the watchmen stand guard in vain
-Ps 127 : 1-

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Near the cross

Posted on January 29, 2005 by clay

In this world we’ll always have troubles and tribulations. Those things come unexpected.
So it happened this morning.
And i found comfort in the chorus of this lovely song:
“Near the Cross”

chorus:
Near the Cross
Near the Cross
Be my glory ever
Till my raptured soul shall find,
rest beyond the river

What a great blessing; simple song with nice lyric 
Good reminder of what this life is all about.

 

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The heavens declare the glory of God

Posted on January 28, 2005 by clay

Hehehe… what a day 
Was enjoying the warmth of morning sun … 
how good it is…
i wake up and go to work, welcomed by morning sun that sheds light, brightness, and warmness
i return home sometimes at nite (hv some Bible study or other meetings) and watched by the night stars like the ever watchful eyes of the Almighty
The brigthness and warmth of morning sun beams like God’s forgiveness that gives me confidence for a new day.
Similarly the coolness and solemnity of night sky gives me the gentleness for any wrongs commited to me during the day.

Then the song that i found a bit weird and funny last year came into my mind.
“The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handiwork. Day unto day uttereth speech, and night unto night sheweth knowledge. There is no speech nor language, where their voice is not heard. ”
That’s a moment…suddenly i understood the melody and the song…it’s composition and arrangement…
hehehe…so beautiful and wonderful, work of a master 
And the echo sings loudly in my mind :
“The heavens declare the glory of God”.

In my life Lord, be glorified
In your church Lord, be glorified
In all creation Lord, be glorified
For you are worthy to receive glory and honor and power
– clay –

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Ezra Vivaldi Hartono

Posted on January 27, 2005 by clay

Bayinya ci ester and ko hartono… hehehe 
So cuteeeee 
Jadi tergoda 
(in English: Ester and Hartono’s son, so cuteeee, made me wanting )

Ezra was born 5 days after my bday…hehehe
else he will be name clay junior ….hehehe

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The words of comfort

Posted on January 17, 2005 by clay

Thank You Lord for speaking the words so gentle
Thank You for cooling me down
The Bible says that love always trust, always hopes, always perseveres. And love never fails.
Hope for the best it’s said, and prepare for the worst.
I hope there’s love there.
The worst is love wasn’t there, but God is here and there as well.
Hence my hope is in God.
God’s way it’s said, that’s total dependence.
Your will and not my will, Jesus said. And we know that God’s will is always the best.
It doesn’t always mean happiness on our part, but it’s always the best.
Be like Jesus you said? Here am I Lord.

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Christmas

Posted on December 26, 2004 by clay
From last year entry…
thought it’s very good and nice …
would like to share it here everyone…merry Christmas

Christmas

Christmas, underneath the solemn atmosphere
There’re hidden enmities and bitterness
That only God’s love can conquer

Christmas, underneath joyful carols
There’re so much sorrows and anguish
That only Christ’s love can heal

Christmas, despite all the business
There’re so many empty hearts and directionless people
That only Holy Spirit can fulfill

Christmas and all the years
There’s emptiness in human’s heart
That only God could make it complete

Christmas and all the years
There’s problem nobody can solve
That only God can and would do it

Christmas and all the years
We finally realize our state
That only to God we must look for solution

Christmas,
God reconciled fallen humanity to Himself
That we can be reconciled with each other

Christmas,
My eyes wet of our brokenness
My feet tremble at our sinfulness
My heart full of sorrow for our falleness

Christmas,
My eyes look on God’s precious gift
My hope fix on God’s goodness
My only prayer on His grace and mercy

It’s why Christmas brings such joy for me
Because the effect of sin are undone
Because there’s new way of living
Because there’s hope of new creation

Christmas,
I look at myself and my people
My heart is crumbled because of our transgressions
Then I turned my eyes to my Savior

My heart filled with such gratitude
And find its rest there
For Jesus is the answer we’re ever need
God’s answer for our sins

 

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2 weeks before new year

Posted on December 19, 2004 by clay

I’ve to put more efforts to write into my offline journal
more discipline before end of this year …
thank God for this week,
pretty tiring…yet somehow got pocket rest
christmas party, new year party, caroling, some personal agendas …
help me Lord, in all the business, to remain calm and gentle,
to be loving and leading,
keep always my trust in the Lord and not be anxious over the many things

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