Just thought to list some benefits i’m afraid soon will be gone..
Again the thought of leaving them seem quite real to me …
However i still hesitant for the lost i might suffer …
For i know what are they meant to me …
Children, i love them because they enjoy my being not my doing
Children, i love them because they value what i do and not what i say
Children, i love them because they make fun of what i say and not what i am 
I know i will lose all my creative thoughts
i will lose moments being candid and ability to laugh at myself
i will lose my persistence on what’s right and pure
i will lose parts of me
i will lose those precious moments
i will lose those beautiful memories
i’m still thinking …