things didn’t seem to go better,
at work is becoming more crazy…just now 4 ppl were looking for me, and when about time to off, major problem came…so stayed back till now, supporting a friend and big production. Partly was my fault also for not doing the testing thoroughly…who’s done anyway?
health is getting worse as well. With lesser exercise, lesser sleep, and more works…
spiritually about the same i think. Since the past week had been making so many mistakes. Saying things shouldn’t say and forgot to say things need to say. Had been really bad on my own evaluation. All the bad temperaments came up like becoming exclusive and anti-social, violating my own principles and become short tempered, easily finding fault and speak unlovingly.
Oh, what kind person am i?
Just now, this thing i asked myself….so what? Didn’t i the one said wanna to live by faith and not by sight? So what if things doesn’t seem good? Walk by faith…that’s i know what i’m doing…and i do bcs i have believed. If things seems go to worse? Didn’t i not walking by sight? Not only that, didn’t i said let the Lord lead? And what if it’s the Lord’s will to go through all these things? When recently life been quite calm and peaceful, didn’t i dread what might come? What kind of storm might come after this?
If this is the storm, Lord…sometimes i like that joke saying “i know you won’t test me more than what i can bear, but i hope you don’t trust me that much”….but i know that He knows. And this is what i know. I want to know His power in weakness and suffering. I want to know how His power is made perfect in my brokeness. I want to know what grace it is to supply all my needs in times of trials. I want to know the magnitude of His love … that none can dissipate. O, dare i?? Lord, u know me, and u know what i am. Don’t test me more than what i can bear.